Many full moons ago, I traveled to Cape Cod to visit a friend. It was a friend, Connie, not a euphemism! And it was long before my cave-dwelling days . . .
Yes, it was summer in Provincetown. We ate lobster rolls and drank beer. As we walked along the shore, we met some nice gentlemen relaxing on beach blankets. They invited us to share a few joints, and we laughed and basked in the sun all afternoon.
For a moment, I forgot about the years of waking up in the middle of the night, not knowing where I was or how I got there, and puking up the remains of raw pheasant from last night’s hunt (or, perhaps raw peasant!) until eventually I drifted away into a long sleep of vacation.
A few hours later, I stirred from my slumber and watched as my new friends splashed around in the ocean while I applied gentle aloe to my freshly sunpoisoned underbelly.
All right, that’s chapter one, Connie. Now that I wrote it down, will you finally shut up about it? I take strong artistic liberties with all of my work, and that includes my autobiography. You’ll never know what really happened. For now, it’s merely a cautionary tale about the dangers of taking drugs from strangers in P-town.
And speaking of taking drugs from strangers in P-town, today I wanna talk about the movie Saint Drogo! From the twisted minds of Monster Makeup LLC comes this New England horror story that’s like Wicker Man meets Eyes Wide Shut.
Caleb and Adrian (Brandon Perras-Sanchez and Michael J. Ahern, both writers and directors on the movie) have hit a lull in their relationship. To make matters worse, Caleb’s started having disturbing dreams of his ex, Isaac (Tradd Sanderson), who seems to have gone missing in P-town. Caleb convinces Adrian to make the trip there to see if they can’t find him.
(Spoiler alert: They find a werewolf instead! Just kidding. There are no werewolves in this movie. However, you will see many wonderfully hairy gentlemen in Saint Drogo.)
Ah, yes, winter in Cape Cod! As thrilling as the bare femur bone laying by my door, reminding me to take it out with the rest of this week’s pillage. Caleb and Adrian arrive in the off-season, and only the townies are there, none of whom seem very eager to help Caleb find his ex. In fact, they are extremely cagey about everything, exacerbating Caleb’s frustration and causing a greater rift between him and Adrian.
Enter Eric (Matthew Pidge), a local who acts as a guide to the couple as they follow lead after lead trying to track down Isaac to no avail. Eric seems very laissez-faire about the whole, er, affair, but not when it comes to getting his horny hands on the two men! He beds ‘em and gives ‘em some drugs, and instead of falling asleep on the beach like a certain wolf, Caleb’s dreams become increasingly terrifying as Adrian grows more distant.
What happens in P-town stays in P-town, and Adrian and Caleb might be on their way to becoming permanent residents!
The boys of Monster Makeup wanted their second feature to pack a punch thematically, cinematographically, practicaleffectively. I’d say they succeeded! Haunting, lonely shots of Caleb wandering around an empty P-town and gazing longingly over the desolate beachside enhance the story’s theme of isolation. And Caleb’s cascading exasperation as he attempts to find Isaac mirrors the struggles in one’s search for identity. A wolf knows these feelings, especially after years of living alone in a cave!
The difference is that my solitude is self-inflicted while Caleb’s is the result of something more insidious. The bare setting feels like a microcosm of the queer struggle to build community, and sometimes that process comes with great sacrifice. In Saint Drogo, that sacrifice is savage, horrific, and quite gory. It’s a dark and stark reminder of the pain and brutal violence society imposes on its outcasts.
So, now do you understand why I brought us to this cave, Connie? No cults, no drugs, no threesomes with a sus guy named Eric. I cast myself out before any demons could think about messing with my head! Life is simpler that way.
But I’ll always have my memories of P-town, and us horror fans are blessed to have Saint Drogo, the patron saint of queer folk horror.
Full-Moon Rating: 4/5 FULL MOONS
Directed by: Michael J. Ahern, Ryan Miller, Brandon Perras-Sanchez, Christopher Dalpe, Wayne Gonsalves, Tyler Jensen
Written by: Michael J. Ahern, Brandon Perras-Sanchez
Michael J. Ahern as Adrian
Brandon Perras-Sanchez as Caleb
Matthew Pidge as Eric
Tradd Sanderson as Isaac
Where can you watch? Visit the Monster Makeup website for updates about how to watch Saint Drogo as well as their first feature Death Drop Gorgeous and upcoming projects.
Enjoy the teaser trailer below!